The Redeem Team
Team Wittman
Randy
Boston, Massachusetts
When you think of the prototypical golfer, you don’t often think of a tall white guy with a bad back, short arms, and receding hairline. Or do you? Regardless, Ryan Wittman is tasked with leading a group of misfit toys in this golf team play. Make sure to watch Ryan’s mannerisms turn into Randy-ism’s as he increases his alcohol intake. Ryan only comes to Minnesota once a year, so enjoy this weekend while you can.
Adam Gore
Indianapolis, Indiana
His investment company aims to reduce waste and misalignments. Unfortunately his golf game does not. We hope to see the Wittman / Gore combo that has been missing since the 2008 Ivy League Championship.
El Presidente
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Sales executive, underwear salesman, boutique fashionista, mortgage broker, pedal pub ambassador, aspiring US presidential candidate. His professional resume is almost as scattered as his golf game. What Ben Walker lacks in skill, he makes up for in confidence and charisma. This man survived getting roofied in Thailand, so he’s a perfect fit for the Blackout Bogeys.
Dammo
Shakoppe, Minnesota
As head ball coach for the Shakopee Sabers, Coach Dammann is Sam’s boss. So, look for an interesting power dynamic to develop starting Thursday as Coach Dammann tests Sam’s patience with a slower pace than Dechambeau. Coach’s golf game is considered unshakable, but a well-placed Trojan condom by the Blackout Bogeys might trigger upsetting flashbacks to the Class AAAA Semis.
Dank
Savage, Minnesota
He emigrated to North Carolina to scratch his hipster itch and pick up a few golf tips along the way. His return to Minnesota shook the local golf landscape, especially for his archrival Jeff Sweazey. Look for fireworks all weekend with this matchup. When Dan Erickson isn’t appraising local craft beer like an absolute douche, he’s envisioning a Buddy Cup championship at his rival’s expense.
Bkyow
Saint Anthony, Minnesota
Ben comes from a long line of tall, strong Bykowski men. It’s unlikely Ben finally enters that growth spurt by September 14th, but if he does look for his prospects to improve. If not, Ben will have to rely on his “short” game, which is something he’s gotten used to since he relegated himself to a career in Soccer.
Scottie Too Hottie
San Francisco, California
The finance guru whose golf swing is as unpredictable as the stock market on a Monday morning! Hailing from the foggy hills of San Francisco, he's mastered the art of navigating both spreadsheets and sand traps. Scott recently tied the knot, proving that he's not afraid of commitment - unless it's a four-putt.
Jim Bissen
Delray Beach, Florida
An exceptional golfer, SnapChatter, and vegetable salesman. However, Jimmy Miller’s rap sheet is not unblemished. He stole the identity of James Bissen and fled to Florida where white pants are fashionably acceptable. If this page is searchable on Google, it’s not out of the question that the real James Bissen catches on to this event and crashes the party to seek revenge on the one who ruined his reputation. Let’s Go!
Dweebs, Divas and Douches
Team Eicher
Tuna
Chanhassen, Minnesota
The godfather of the Buddy Cup. Some say he should spend less time planning golf tournaments and more time getting a Raising Cane’s placed in the southwest metro. When Sam Eicher isn’t not fathering his children, he’s golfing, and his game has evolved. His backswing is shallower than his taste in TV shows, but he’s a key to the Sandy Shaft Gropers’ success. He’s expected to give a keynote speech on Saturday night.
Brian Roberts
Apple Valley, Minnesota
The only thing we know about this guy is that he is Dammann’s brother-in-law. A quick Google Search shows he owns a chemical cleaning company, which will come in handy on Sunday.
Booger
Dunkin’ Donuts
The infamous inventor of the “Booger Roll” and older brother to teammate, Brett. It’s no secret that Brady Ervin has prioritized other hobbies over golf in recent years. “If only he took golf as seriously as his donuts.” – Brad, probably. Let’s hope the donut scene in Brainerd is terrible, otherwise we might find ourselves in the background of one of Gerv’s 6-minute Instagram reviews.
Troy
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Semi-professional Troy Aikman impersonator and Sauced brother, Brett Ervin, wants nothing more to partner up with his brother and tag team Jimmy Miller in this first annual Buddy Cup weekend. When he’s not body-doubling in Fox NFL Sunday spoof porn he’s working on his golf game. He’s a big part of the Sandy Shaft Gropers’ winning strategy.
Adam Goon
Maybe Colorado, who knows.
If you know anything about what Goon has been up to over the past 15 years, let us know.
Crust
Minnetrista, Minnesota
Rumor has it Jeff is getting an arm sleeve tattoo of all of his great shots from Buddy Cup 2022. So in other words, Jeff is not getting an arm sleeve tattoo.
SweazBra
Victoria, Minnesota
Jeff Sweazey’s resume contains more PAULAs than birdies. His backswing is slower than a Matt Harriman pullout. His mental fortitude is more fragile than a John Sweazey souffle. Nonetheless, you know this guy is gonna bring it and is an X-factor in this first annual Buddy Cup. Just don’t let him near the mic if it’s karaoke night at Palmer’s Grille.
Swannie
Minnetrista, USA
Jeff had maybe one of the best Buddy Cup performances of all time in 2022. It has changed his life. He has become a better golfer, a better man, and a better lover. Hopefully, he can keep it up.
Announcers
Plum Sauce
Victoria, MN
A man who prides himself on his limited set of hobbies, Tom Shanks takes his amateur golf play-by-play to the next level in his first semi-amateur Buddy Cup invitational. His passion for the sport of golf is undisputed, but a fear of shafts has kept him from participation since boyhood. If there is a celebrity stroke to be had, things could get interesting. Soothe your ears and follow all the action and the occasional Sea Shanty at:
Instagram: @TomShanks
Twitter: @TeddyCorduroy
OnlyFans: @TheMuskyMustache
Seth Haake
Plymouth, MN
Acclaimed singer-songwriter Seth Haake will put his 37th best talent on display in this first annual Buddy Cup as color commentator and golf analyst. What Seth lacks in golf experience he makes up for with great hair. Follow this voice of an angel for live tournament updates, amateur weather forecasts, NBATopShot reveals and flaming hot golf takes.
Instagram: @sghaake
Twitter: @SethHaake
NBATopShot: @SethonHaakbury